What is Love

We all crave, seek, and hope for it; because we need it. It's the most desired and the most misunderstood thing that exists. Some will say that it's just a fleeting emotion, and some that it's an action we take, or they can only love what they see. Everyone seems to have their own ideas of what love is. So what makes it so hard to find it?

It's the world of illusion we live in.

1 Peter 2:11

"Dear friends, I warn you as “temporary residents and foreigners” to keep away from worldly desires that wage war against your very souls."

• Can Love to be so dangerous that it threatens our own Souls? No!

• True Love saves our Souls and protects them. Then why do people have their ideas about love based on the things of this world? Because they confuse Love with Lust.

Lust;

• takes; "what's in it for me"

• impatient; "I want it right now"

• violates; crosses healthy boundaries of marriage, hurts others, dishonors

• condemns; judgmental, revengeful, perfectionistic

• self-centered; selfish, inconsiderate, "it's all about me," toxic "self-love"

• greedy; never satisfied, doesn't share, doesn't provide, doesn't help, limits time

• endangers; physical exposure (nakedness), violence, emotional abuse, rumors, expose secrets, jealousy, doesn't consider consequences such as unwanted pregnancy, STDs, etc

• disloyal; noncommittal, physical and/or emotional affairs, always looking for "something better," you are "replaceable"

• image-based; (flesh-based) it's shallow; needs to look a certain way, be a particular race and age, and have a certain status; financial and social

• abandons; disappears at any sign of their conditions not being met, don't want to grow together but looks for a "finished product"

• unjust; makes the next person pay for the sin of another

• fearful; assume the worst, has no faith, see the end before beginning; emotionally unavailable

• INDEPENDENT; two "halves" will not come into Unity because they refuse to serve one another; this creates "neediness." They are only for themselves. It's one of the reasons why marriages fail and men struggle with finding women and purpose.

• Revelation 3:17 "You say, ‘I am rich. I have everything I want. I don’t need a thing!’ And you don’t realize that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked."

The media is filled with so-called experts on "love," but they really dance around Lust. They try to find new ways of "making it work" and give many "Tips and tricks." The fact is, it can never work because it's NOT Love. It's the exact opposite of Love. I see endless posts, "Why is love so hard" But they usually give a list like the one above, along with excuses.

Most people wouldn't recognize Love even if it were right in front of them because it won't meet the criteria of Lust. Love cannot be put into any of these small-minded boxes.

Love is not complicated; trying to make Love out of Lust is.

• These are two opposite forces.

LUST COMES FROM THE DEVIL (Ego/Flesh)

It's the reason why it hurts, creates drama, destroys families, and leads to death.

Galatians 5:19-21

"When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God."

James 1:13-15

"And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death."

1 John 2:16

"For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we SEE, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever."

A Story of Lust; Samson and Delilah.

Samson's First Choice

Judges 14–3:4

“His father and mother objected. “Isn’t there even one woman in our tribe or among all the Israelites you could marry?” they asked. “Why must you go to the pagan Philistines to find a wife?”

But Samson told his father, “Get her for me! She looks good to me.” His father and mother didn’t realize the Lord was at work in this, creating an opportunity to work against the Philistines, who ruled over Israel at that time.”

• He only liked her looks. During their wedding celebration, Samson asked the guests to solve a riddle, but no one knew the answer. She nagged him to tell her, manipulating him into thinking that he doesn’t love her if he didn’t do it. So he told her, and she passed the answer to the guests.

Judges 14:18–20

“So before sunset of the seventh day, the men of the town came to Samson with their answer:

“What is sweeter than honey? What is stronger than a lion?”

Samson replied, “If you hadn’t plowed with my heifer, you wouldn’t have solved my riddle!”

Then the Spirit of the Lord came powerfully upon him. He went down to the town of Ashkelon, killed thirty men, took their belongings, and gave their clothing to the men who had solved his riddle. But Samson was furious about what had happened, and he went back home to live with his father and mother. So his wife was given in marriage to the man who had been Samson’s best man at the wedding.”

Judges 15:1-5

"Later on, during the wheat harvest, Samson took a young goat as a present to his wife. He said, “I’m going into my wife’s room to sleep with her,” but her father wouldn’t let him in.

“I truly thought you must hate her,” her father explained, “so I gave her in marriage to your best man. But look, her younger sister is even more beautiful than she is. Marry her instead.”

• Did Samson care about her well-being? No. He was just horny, and it led to revenge.

"Samson said, “This time I cannot be blamed for everything I am going to do to you Philistines.” Then he went out and caught 300 foxes. He tied their tails together in pairs, and he fastened a torch to each pair of tails. Then he lit the torches and let the foxes run through the grain fields of the Philistines. He burned all their grain to the ground, including the sheaves and the uncut grain. He also destroyed their vineyards and olive groves."

• Later he killed 1,000 Philistines.

Samson's Second Choice is Delilah.

She was also pagan, and he never married her.

Judges 16:4–5

“Some time later Samson fell in love with a woman named Delilah, who lived in the valley of Sorek. The rulers of the Philistines went to her and said, “Entice Samson to tell you what makes him so strong and how he can be overpowered and tied up securely. Then each of us will give you 1,100 pieces of silver.”

• Delilah also kept nagging Samson about his secret and persuaded him to tell. Just as the previous woman - she sold him out. After Delilah and the Philistines ripped him off his power, gouged his eyes out, and humiliated him in front of thousands of people. Still, Samson only thought of revenge.

Judges 16:28–31

"Then Samson prayed to the Lord, “Sovereign Lord, remember me again. O God, please strengthen me just one more time. With one blow let me pay back the Philistines for the loss of my two eyes.” Then Samson put his hands on the two center pillars that held up the temple. Pushing against them with both hands, he prayed, “Let me die with the Philistines.” And the temple crashed down on the Philistine rulers and all the people. So he killed more people when he died than he had during his entire lifetime. Later his brothers and other relatives went down to get his body. They took him back home and buried him between Zorah and Eshtaol, where his father, Manoah, was buried. Samson had judged Israel for twenty years.”

• A very sad, tragic story that starts with Lust.

• He was confused about Love because he didn't have it in him. He did not care about values because he himself had no values and was ungodly.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

"God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor— not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways."

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Lust Test

The quickest and most reliable way to know if you or the other person loves or lusts are to ask yourselves this one simple question:

“Would you marry that person before having sex?” (and would the other person wait for you?)

If the answer is No, then you know it’s Lust.

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LOVE COMES FROM GOD

It's the reason why it feels so good.

Galatians 5:22-23

"But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!"

1 John 4:7-21

Loving One Another

"Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for LOVE COMES FROM GOD. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for GOD IS LOVE.

God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.

Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and HIS LOVE IS BROUGHT TO FULL EXPRESSION IN US.

And God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us. Furthermore, we have seen with our own eyes and now testify that the Father sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. All who declare that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love.

GOD IS LOVE, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our LOVE GROWS MORE PERFECT. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world.

Such LOVE HAS NO FEAR, because perfect LOVE EXPELS ALL FEAR. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. We love each other because he loved us first.

If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their fellow believers."

Love;

• gives; "what can I do for you"

• patient; "Take your time"

• respects; stays within boundaries, doesn't force outcomes

• forgives; non-judgmental and compassionate; understands that no one is perfect

• selfless; put the other person's needs and well-being before their own, sacrificial

• generous; with time, provision, and help, content with what is

• protects; covers nakedness and keeps from harm, speaks well of another, not jealous, does what is right and honors the body; theirs and another

• faithful; marriage-oriented, sees the irreplaceable value in another, recognizes and denies cheap attempts of seduction from the outside

• upholds; doesn't quit, grows together, and experiences both; good and bad

• just; objective, willing to learn, and understand

• spirit-based; it's deep, goes beyond the surface, understands the illusion of a worldly standard

• fearless; assume the best, has faith, emotionally available, knows it won't end

• INTERDEPENDENT; two halves create a complete Unity serving one another, so there is no "neediness" because all "needs" are mutually met.

• Galatians 5:13 "For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love."

• 1 Corinthians 11:11-12 "But among the Lord’s people, women are not independent of men, and men are not independent of women. For although the first woman came from man, every other man was born from a woman, and everything comes from God."

1 Corinthians 13

Love Is the Greatest

"If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless.

When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is LOVE."

Ephesians 4:1-6

"Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves UNITED IN THE SPIRIT, binding yourselves together with peace. For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future.

There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all, in all, and living through all."

• Matthew 19:5-6 "And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are UNITED INTO ONE.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”

John 13:34-35

"So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”

Matthew 22:36-40

“Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”

Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

How to Find Love

• To Find Love is to Find God.

• To Find God is to REPENT.

1 John 4:19

"We love each other because he loved us first."

John 3:16-21

“For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.

“There is no judgment against anyone who believes in him. But anyone who does not believe in him has already been judged for not believing in God’s one and only Son. And the judgment is based on this fact: God’s light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil. All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed. But those who do what is right come to the light so others can see that they are doing what God wants.”

When we Love and Serve God, He Loves us back and takes care of our needs; Interdependence.

Psalm 37:1-7

"Don’t worry about the wicked or envy those who do wrong. For like grass, they soon fade away. Like spring flowers, they soon wither. Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.

Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you. He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.

Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes."

John 12:26

"Anyone who wants to serve me must follow me, because my servants must be where I am. And the Father will honor anyone who serves me."

Acts 17:24-25

“He is the God who made the world and everything in it. Since he is Lord of heaven and earth, he doesn’t live in man-made temples, and human hands can’t serve his needs—for he has no needs. He himself gives life and breath to everything, and he satisfies every need."

Luke 6:38

"Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.”

2 Corinthians 5:16-21

"So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!” For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ."

1 Peter 4:7-8

"The end of the world is coming soon. Therefore, be earnest and disciplined in your prayers. Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins."